When is YOUR Next Lollipop Moment?
I love the comments to my blog. It shows me that people are reading. What good is it to write if nobody
reads? Another benefit is
getting turned on to new ideas.
One such idea are Lollipop moments. A colleague, Marla McCowan, turned me onto Drew
Dudley’s TEDTalk about “Leading with Lollipops.” Watch it on YouTube www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVCBrkrFrBE. It’s only 6 minutes. And it will remind you how powerful we are when we connect.
What is a Lollipop moment? It’s a moment in our lives where we have made
someone’s life better. It
could be a large or small.
No matter the size of the impact, each one of us has been the catalyst
for a lollipop moment. You have made
somebody’s life better. If
you think you have not been the catalyst for Lollipop moment, you are just one of
the people who haven’t been acknowledged yet. This is what needs to be changed.
Drew Dudley’s Lollipop moment is a forgotten one from
college. Drew was welcoming new
students. There was a
freshman girl, scared and ready to quit before she started. Drew gave a lollipop to a man
standing next to the scared woman.
Drew told that man, “Give that lollipop to the beautiful girl who is
right next to you.” Five years
later, Drew received an invitation to this couple’s wedding.
The sad part is that Drew did not remember this moment. No one acknowledged that lollipop
leadership moment, including Drew himself, until years later when the moment was
already forgotten.
Why don’t we embrace all our Lollipop moments? One of the reasons is that we
have a hard time accepting that we are powerful enough to be leaders. It is scary to think we matter that much to other people. It feels arrogant to say you are
a leader. It is a lot of
pressure to be a leader.
If we just change our thinking about leadership, we can feel
more connected. Leadership
is not just for presidents.
We all lead, everyday. We just don’t realize or acknowledge it. Leaders are in everyday moments.
What if each day, we took a moment, and let another person
know how they have enriched your life. It only takes a few minutes. Just think of how you would feel if you received a
note each day.
I received such a note over the weekend. It made me feel good. I teach trial skills at Trial
Lawyers College founded by legendary trial attorney #GerrySpence. While a student at Trial Lawyers
College, Carl Bettinger, an attorney, introduced me to improv. I fell in love with it. I see the benefits of it. It helps with listening and
reacting in the moment without a script.
Essential tools as a trial attorney, and for anyone for that
matter. And it is just plain
fun. You feel like a kid
again.
I have taught improv at Trial Lawyers College. I love to introduce it to
people. Most are timid at
first. I never understood
why. I think it’s the fear
of judgment. What if I they
think I’m not funny? What if I
look stupid? What if I don’t
know what to say next? It’s
easier to not play, than to take the risk.
Many do take the risk. They jump in and receive much in return. Over the weekend, a day after I
watched the Lollipop TedTalk, I received this note from a former student who is
a practicing trial attorney:
Dear Cheryl:
Tonight I
performed in my third improv show this year.
And
I wanted to take a minute to thank you.
Playing
games that you and Kim [Benjamin] lead at the
ranch
[Trial Lawyers College] really moved me to learn
more
about improv. It took me awhile to get involved,
but
I've taken several classes this year and am having
a
great time.
There
is a great improv community here in OKC and I'm
amazed
at how similar the concepts of successful improv
and
TLC [Trial Lawyers College] are.
I
hope that you have a glorious sabbatical.
Your
Brother,
Jacob
Jacob’s words touched me greatly. It meant so much to know that my actions, three
hours of my life, touched another person for the better. To know that I inspired Jacob to
take improv classes and to know he is enjoying them, makes me feel connected to
Jacob. I also feel connected
to Carl Bettinger, who first introduced me to improv. I feel connected to Trial Lawyers
College where I get a chance to play with other attorneys.
How to Have More Lollipop Moments
How do we have more Lollipop moments? How do we grow more connected
with each other everyday? Isn’t
that the purpose of life? Well, it’s
actually quite easy. As Drew Dudley says, it only takes three things:
1. Create
Lollipop moments
We
must embrace our innate leader.
We all lead. Share
your passion and
talent
with others. It doesn’t have
to be talent in rocket science.
It can be
your
talent for gardening . For
music, either playing or fan.
When we
speak
from passion and talent, we inspire Lollipop moments. Others
feel
us and jump into the moment with us. Just like Jacob did during improv.
He
had never played before.
Complete novice. But
he jumped into the fun of
2. Acknowledge Lollipop
moments
Tell
the person how their action affected you for the better. It can be
anything. How wonderful does it feel to
know somebody is thinking about
you? That he or she is remembering a
past interaction and how it impacts
them
now. It’s leadership. It’s connection. When you tell another how they
helped
you, you also inspire them to do the next step…
3. Pay Lollipops
forward
When
you receive an acknowledgment note of appreciation, use those good feelings
to pay it forward. Write a
note of your own. Go out and
connect
with
someone. Lead a meeting,
neighborhood function or a family vacation.
When
you act with passion, you will lead and inspire.
You are my example of a brave warrior and I cherish all of my moments with you. Thank you for introducing me to improv. It makes me remember those times as a kid where I played without fear of judgment and the self-critic. You are an inspiration! Kim Benjamin
ReplyDeleteYou were a lollipop moment to me also. I think TLC is probably filled with them. It was 2010 during the death penalty week. I was a skeptic. We were in the big barn doing one of those exercises where they ask a question and you put your hand on the shoulder of someone as your answer. I can't remember the exact question but it was something like "choose someone you want to learn more about" and you chose me. I thought, why the heck would she want to know more about me? Of course, all it did was make me want to know more about you. You also got me involved in an Improv night during that week and we all laughed our butts off. I have been a fairly quiet facebook stalker of yours since then and have enjoyed watching your kids grow and seeing the work you are involved in. I also noticed the impact TLC had on you. So, recently, when I could feel the weight of the world back on my shoulders, I remembered the big barn, the laughter, the good people and said I need to get back there. With your encouragement and example, I graduated the 3-week course. So, thank you for simply taking an interest in me one day long ago. You have been a terrific example for me ever since. Now, I expect one of your future blogs to be on Improv and where I can get some fun examples to use with my kids. I am sad to report there was NO IMPROV during my 3 week stay in Wyoming. It was much needed.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kim! Feeling like a kid again is the goal. I watch my boys play. Spontaneously. I see other children at school and football games. Kids run. They chase and laugh. Let's be kids - forever
ReplyDeleteDiane, your post meant a lot to me. Ironic that I don't remember putting my hand on your shoulder. Just like the speaker in the tedtalk. I'm not surprised I put my hand on you. You have a quiet strength and story inside of you. Plus anybody that David Hemingway loves, so do I.
ReplyDeleteNo improv is a travesty! You know I'll always bring it with me and ask you all to play with me